I love him. I do. But, I'm soooo afraid! Afraid of the past and of the future. Will the past become the future? If not, what will the future be? Its terrifying eitehr way. Do I tell him that's why I've been a bitch the last couple of days? Do I try to explain that I'm afraid of him leaving me? Do I show all of my insecurities and vulneralbilities (I know that's spelled wrong)?
I've tried to tell him that I'm crazy....he didn't believe me. Yesterday I wanted to call my sister. She's been dead for 10 years. That was probably part of my bitchy mood.
His exgirlfriend called him. Is he going to call her back? Does he miss her? Does he wish he were still with her? Do I have the right to ask him these things?
She moved and I don't know how to be normal without her telling me how to do things. I don't know how to deal with problems without her walking me through them. I don't know how not to lose my mind without her telling me it'll be ok. How am I supposed to get through this without her? Maybe it's time to grow the fuck up.
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