Normal

I'm just like any girl you know......just someone who wants to be loved. My story isn't different from anyone else's. No sadder, no more disappointing; just the same as every other girl you know.

I just want someone to look at me and say, "This is the woman I can't live without. This is the woman I want to grow old with. This is the one who touches me like no other." What's so wrong abut that? What's so wrong with wanting to share things with someone? Love, a home, children, struggles and joys.

They all say I'm the sweetest person they know. They sya they love how I take care of people who are close to me. But they never want to be the one I take care of. They don't want to be the one I love and share with.

So, what can I do but assume that they are lying? That they really don't care one way or the other. I try. I try to be normal. I try to do things right but sometimes I mess up. Should one mistake be the reason for a destroyed life. I know you think that's dramatic. That I'm exaggerating......but it really does feel as though my life has been destroyed by people I chose to love.

One ex tells me he wouldn't help me out with some recreational substances b/c he didn't want to be the reason I went down. Well, why wans't he thinking of that when he was screwing everyone but me? I love you. I really do. Then, 2 weeks later he's dumping me for some other whore. So, of course he was lying that day on my porch when he professed to need me, to love me, to be with me forever. But not even a year later I'm the most amazing person he knows? How does that work?

Why do I even bother? Because I